Nicole broke up with me.
It was like that last night he said he is thinking about separation - and I've asked, but it say simply. Does not bring you hold out.
Over.
And the reason? Because we do not have sex / had. Or the last six months (!) very little. I simply do not fancy at all. If I have slept with him, only for his sake. Because I love him.
The reason may sound trite and selfish, but I can understand him. It only hurts a lot.
excerpts from my journal that I wrote about it today:
" It has never been so nice to wake up next to Nico, this morning as we hugged and kissed us and limbs umeinandergeschlungen and stroked. and he just looked so loving and it was also, and it could be so beautiful ...
... Were it not for the bad bitter taste that we have separated us yesterday evening.
We .
us.
past.
I've ever used before sobbing, until I could sleep at all. This morning I woke up and immediately had a lump in my throat. I've pressed me to him was his warmth, his close, would not stand up, except that the time extended as far as possible.
last night I did my nails really dig in his beautiful body and embrace him like a woman possessed, to feel it, to keep it - which is selfish.
I've failed again. This seems to be the only thing I can do.
failure. Failure. Sadness. . "
I want him back I want him back
talk I have with the therapist about it;. Maybe they know where that comes standard is not, finally, that it has absolutely no desire. . ... I want
... I think that you can think of yourselves
to Challenge.
Eaten so far: 350kcal.
Tonight I have to really pull myself together. I'm at my best and there's always something to food ... even to something delicious. -.- '
burned so far: 1500kcal.
The vocabulary cards I take with me, and I am going back by train, there is the very practical way.
But: The day is not totally suck. I am meeting with my best friend [and I'll hopefully its just a nice evening, and not greedy], before I go a little stroll to the station and also I've got grad a package of Mama * _ *
It is a somewhat verspäteter Adventskalender, hat sie mir grad gesimst. Also werd ich das dann gleich noch öffnen.
@ Candy : Prima :D Wenn du schon mal Back on Track bist, dann bleib auch da. Ich glaub an dich Süße :)
@ Charly : Oooh, dein Kommentar war so süß *_* Es ist ein wunderbares Gefühl, wenn man einfach verstanden wird.
Mir grauts zwar vor heute Abend [potentielle FA], aber ich bin grad wieder so motiviert, ich schaffe das.
Du schaffst das.
Wir schaffen das zusammen.
Es ist immerhin schon der 3. Tag, 10% haben wir schon fast erreicht xD
Es ist auch ziemlich aufbauend, die Kalorien da zu sehen...das animiert mich immer dazu, noch die nächsten 100 vollzumachen und wenn ich dann abgelenkt bin und da drüberkomme, dann die nächsten 100 und so weiter.
Je nachdem wie schnell ich trete bin ich zwischen 370 und 440kcal die Stunde. Ich muss aber mal die Batterien von der Anzeige wechseln, die haben heute einfach den Dienst quittiert.
Denk an das schöne Gefühl, wenn man was erreicht hat. :)
@ Kat : Dankeschön, ich arbeite dran. Und du hast ein prima Ziel vor Augen :)
So. Post abschicken, Made to open, tighten door open, to the main station deflection.
tomorrow, lovelies.
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