Aaaaaaah * * kraaaaaaisch, my world is a roller coaster! Always up and down, almost never at a level where you feel comfortable ...
... you can despair or get used to the ride. I still vacillate between the two, but the important thing is: that we can by not thrown off course.
Hello, Honigkuchenpferdchen:)
you Take a cup of tea before her LOSL, the post is long.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK for your kind and constructive comments! It's really so sweet of you! I mean, we know only virtually and only since a few weeks / months, and yet we are so there for each other ... I think it's great!
kisses to all! : Eaten
: *
Okay, fixed few words about the Challenge Did I have nothing today, but I am also risen only half-second I think I do after a tomato soup or something.
Sport: Mach I grad by the way, but the display of my stepper is over, either the step, the minute or the calorie counter is always displayed. But I'm always at least an hour a day on that thing, so I only have to look at the clock and then recalculate: D
Weight: 58.8 kg * _ *
I fantasize sometimes short: If I It really manage to lose between two WeightIn-days each 600g, I had actually achieved my goal at New Year. That would be wonderful!
gives me back the right motivation to pull myself together!
At the moment you go back to me pretty good, I feel compensated [for Nico, Sport, Challenge and University / homework], motivated, a little hungry .
I look Raff.
Tomorrow I have my appointment [which I absolutely enrgegenfiebere ... I just hope I have it now is not too high expectations and then get disappointed I -.-], get help, I will go back this week, AT ANY LECTURE and I can not be defeated by myself.
It was so good to go dancing Saturday evening. My feet hurt a little, because I foresee quite long on the treadmill, but was in good Electro do not care. And if you then still have room to dance * _ *
Nico was there.
I had half hoped, half expected. He was totally surprised to see me [as I had previously only said that maybe I'm] absolutely welcomes and loves me. With kisses and "Hello, pretty lady." Since I was already the first time just a puddle on the floor dance floor, because I simply melted away am.
He also told me that I look absolutely great. Again snow melt.
We have danced together [so well this just goes to EBM and Industrial], talking, laughing, people sought and found.
Geredet.
Er wollte wissen, was ich denke. Wie ich denke, dass es weitergeht. Weitergehen soll.
Einerseits will ich ihn unbedingt zurück, andererseits weiß ich, dass mein Problem nicht von jetzt auf gleich mit einem Fingerschnippen zu lösen ist, sondern dass das Zeit braucht. Dass ich deswegen schon drauf und dran bin, uns aufzugeben.
Dass er ja recht hat: An sich hat sich nichts geändert. Als ich Freitag Abend bei meiner Besten war, hat er mich angerufen, um einfach mal zu fragen, wies mir geht und was ich mache.
Samstag Vormittag klingelte mein Handy auch und sein Name stand auf dem Display: "Ich bin grad aufgewacht and since I have to think of you and call you a try. Would you like to come later with the market? "
It has not changed. However, in two or three days?
He plans to continue ne future with me because he loves me. Because we love . Because while we are at the moment somehow can not be together but will be because we come together again as soon as I was working on me.
He smiled at me and dry blown my tears as I started to cry. He took me in his arms and joked with me
We have explained our views to each other;. sometimes may be needed just such circumstances, before we can actually talk to each other, although we have always expressed our dissatisfaction or whatever the language.
I want so much to get a grip, so much. So that we together can normally be together.
And I'm pretty sure that I, that we hammer out the even / n.
I just do not necessarily feel they can pull bonsai trees, but the basic idea in regard to what is, is positive. That's something.
@ miss sophie : Thanks, on Friday there was also genuine in my world ... sich zusammengebrochen. Aber jetzt geht's mir zum Glück schon wieder besser und ich glaube auch, dass es weiter besser wird.
Ich hoffe, du hattest ein erfolgreiches Wochenende :)
@ Apple : Ich werd auf jeden Fall mit der Therapeutin darüber sprechen, das hängt garantiert mit den Nachwirkungen der Scheidung/meiner ES/meinen Depriphasen etc. irgendwie zusammen. Morgen. Morgen, 17.00 Uhr. *hinfieber*
*umärmel*
@ Candy : Das ist so, so, so so lieb von dir. Ich würd das Angebot echt gerne wahrnehmen, aber ich muss einfach mal wieder an die Uni. Und da ich jeden Tag Vorlesungen habe...
Aufgeschoben ist aber nicht aufgehoben. Ablenken klappt auch ziemlich gut und ich würd mich auf jeden Fall mal gerne mit dir treffen. Zu nem Tee, zum Durch-die-Stadt-Bummeln, zum Reden, zum Kennenlernen.
Wenn nicht im Dezember, dann im Januar.
*drück*
@ Charly : Mittlerweile seh ich es zum Glück auch wieder so, es geht ja schon aufwärts. Es wird sich auch was zum Positiven hin ändern; ich werd mich ändern.
Danke für die Seite, die ist echt total schön *_*
Und ja, ich habs auf der Waage seen. It brings to happiness actually was.
kiss
@ Kat : Did they even saw it yesterday ... not lost on the contrary. As long as we love ourselves, everything will never be lost. Sounds corny, but I'm think.
@ Centi : Thanks, that's really sweet of you:) I weigh so says my guesses what it is ... if it's true, I talk about it tomorrow with someone who is so familiar. One more time to sleep ^ ^
@ Me: So far I was always "the evil", so far as you were relations but also hopelessly over now, not like now.
Thank you for your love Koplimente. :) As much as I had to tremble not at all then. : D
@ Chris: Wow. Soooo much to read. Yes, I see myself as a rather self-contradictory person. While not as someone who goes on and Hu-Hott, but just in itself. I really sometimes feel like I'm two people. Time comes out the one, sometimes the other.
Thank you also for the many tips, some of which I already knew [I have been working ... let me recalculate .... at least 5 years with a healthy diet, only die Umetzung ist immer so eine Sache für sich], einen Teil noch nicht. Nützlich finde ich sie allemal. Ich werde von jetzt an auch deinen Rezepteblog mitlesen, den finde ich nämlich sehr praktisch.
Zur tiefenpsychologischen Therapie habe ich mich entschlossen, da ich wirklich wissen will, was die Ursachen sind und woran mein gegenwärtiger Zustand liegt. Auf dieses Basis kann ich dann hoffentlich an mir arbeiten. Verhaltenstherapie wollte ich nicht, da es ja nur die Probleme im Hier und Jetzt angepackt hätte - das wäre mir zu oberflächlich gewesen.
Die Selbstverachtung ist nicht generell da; sie ist auch eher tagesformabhängig. Klar hat jeder mal einen schlechten Tag, aber ich just want to get out of this maelstrom. I will not be drawn [by me] down.
Sun Gets someone else? : D
I'll now have a tomato soup set up, open my Adventskalendertürchen to repair my stepper [I steppe now no more - has just somewhere solved a screw and I punched a sudden a few inches deep], eat and do homework.
I wish you a nice Sunday!
: *
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